Court Finds “Daddy Dom” to be Creepy But Not Criminal

YOUNGSTOWN, MICHIGAN

The trail of BDSM lifestyle dominant Freddy Coles, 58, concluded today when a judge accepted the defense’s motion for summary judgment, declaring Coles to be “a little creepy, but not a criminal.”

In her 25 page ruling, Judge Martha Winston chided prosecutors for bringing the case, citing a pattern of harassment and abuse against Coles by the DA and prosecutors.

“Just because Mr. Coles practices an alternative lifestyle, it doesn’t not mean his behavior rises to the level of misconduct,” the judge wrote.

Prosecutors had invoked statutes that involved child abuse, sexual acts with minors, and child pornography, because Coles took on the role of being a “Daddy Dom” along with his “baby girl.”  While both parties were legally adults, Coles’ partner, Heather Quint, 28, describes her headspace as that of a “nine year old girl.”

In one of the more confusing parts of the ruling, Judge Winston cautioned prosecutors against trying to “take a cute widdle girl’s daddy away fwum herz.”

Winston also noted that “sometimes girls need spankings, corner time, or strict discipline to know that they are loved” and that “sometimes blankets, binkies, and quiet time coloring can be both healing and powerful for the full development of a sense of self.”

Those present, said Judge Winston stuck her tongue out at the prosecutor when he turned his back and seemed to become engulfed in a fit of giggles when she banged her gavel to dismiss the case.

The DA is set to appeal the decision, a move which Judge Winston declared as “no fair” and “what a stupid head would do.”