BOSTON, MA: Sports orthopedic doctor Miles Slandish at Boston Medical Center today reported the first diagnosed case of “Florentine Elbow.” FLOGGINGDOM12 (not his real name) is considered “patient zero” for the the degenerative problem.
“Mr. Floggingdom 12 suffers from the injury in both his right and left elbows,” said Dr. Slandish. “It’s similar to tennis elbow, or lateral epicondylitis, but with greater risk of permanent injury because the subject just doesn’t give a shit.”
FLOGGINDOM12, after being told he would require up to three months of physical therapy for his injury had this to say about his diagnosis. “That Slandish can go fuck himself. Florentine flogging is my life. If I wasn’t doing this every weekend how the hell would I get laid?”
Dr. Slanish, who specializes in “lifestyle cases” said he’s also treated “Spanker’s Hand” (blood blisters on the palm), “Whip Wrist” and, on submissives, “Corner Shoulder,” an ailment from slouching dejectedly.
Photo credit: Marcin Bajer CC: NC
