Face of Jesus Found in Singletail Marks

TULSA, Oklahoma: Area dom Marvin Head stopped mid-scene at local dungeon Cat-o’-Nine-Tails Friday night when he realized the marks he was giving Jenn “Cottonball” Smythe formed the visage of Jesus Christ.
“I couldn’t believe it,” Head said. “I had been beating on Cottonball for about 40 minutes and had just switched to the single tail whip. I was giving her some really lovely marks on her back and shoulder blades when lo and behold there was Jesus! It was a sign.”
Cottonball, as she’s known to her scene friends, turned around from the St. Andrews cross she was tied to when she realized Marvin had stopped. “He was on the floor, the whip still in his hand, bowing to my back. I didn’t know what to think.”
Cardinal Francis Baythe of the Oklahoma Archdiocese of the Catholic Church had this to say upon seeing the image of the Son of God. “Though the methodology of discovery of this miracle is not part of our canon, the resultant image is certainly a blessing from the Lord. There is no doubt that young Cottonball is the carrier of His most holy of messages.”
Head continues to follow Smythe around in a mesmerized stupor. “He hasn’t touched an implement since Friday and it’s starting to get on my nerves,” Cottonball told this reporter. “I was just about to get off when all this shit went down. Now I’ve got all this…” Smythe gestured to the throngs following her through Mervyns where she was shopping with a shrug.
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