Dear Annie:
No matter what I do my slave won’t obey me. I’ve tried punishment, rewards, threats, even telling her I would leave if she didn’t start doing as she was told. All to no avail.
The only reason I haven’t dumped her is that she is about to inherit a family fortune and claims she really wants to be my slave.
Master in Muskeegee
Dear Master,
Grow a pair. You might want to think about some more serious work with her, like emotional sadism, withholding affection, and cheating on her with close friends. It sounds like she doesn’t respect your authority, so you might want to resort to some form of extortion, blackmail, or threats to gain her obedience and eventually her trust.
If I were you, I’d play along until you can marry her and inherit the fortune. After that, if there was some kind of “accident” you’d be all set to find a new slave with plenty of cash in your pocket. Maybe a slave who writes an advice column? One who can appreciate you and your fortune.
