Orthopaedic Surgeons Report: “Spanking Gives You Big Butt Syndrome”

ALEXANDRIA, VIRGINIA

Doctors at the Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons today published in the Journal of Orthopaedic Surgeons the findings of a three year study that determined that women who enjoy spanking, also known as “domestic discipline,” over time can find themselves the victim of what doctors refer to as ‘Big Butt Syndrome’.

“Our study of 300 women over three years found that most subjects in the study, each of whom enjoyed or were subjected to spankings more than twice a month, increased the size of their bottom by six to eight inches at minimum,” said the report.

Though clinical testing of spanking will be the next stage in a three part, multi-year, multimillion dollar analysis by the Academy, doctors are already speculating on the cause.

“We believe the ongoing impact via human hand, wood, leather and metal paddles and other compression methods both extreme and prolonged create a slow ‘spreading effect’ of the tissues in the buttocks,” reported Academy spokesperson Jeremy Creft. “Over time, this ongoing stress on the bottom at the cellular level results in ‘Big Butt Syndrome’.”

Of the 300 women in the study, a shocking 82.2% were reported to have experienced “non-normal” bottom spread. (Normal would be an increase cheek-to-cheek of 1.5-3 inches.)

“I’ve been receiving spankings for more than 12 years,” said devoted “spanko” PurrfectBrat (not her real name). “I’ve only grown six pant sizes since I started playing.”

The news of the report was significant in the spanko, kink, fetish and BDSM communities. Some were reported as “jubilant” of the news, citing an appreciation of women with ample derrières. Others were less enthused. “If it don’t fit on your lap, you better not slap,” said one “Dom” who wished to remain anonymous.

 

photo credit: Leonardo Sardinha cc