PA Town has Unique Festival



In an effort to rebrand itself the local chamber of commerce for Blue Balls, Pennsylvania has announced its annual “Circle Jerk” Festival.

The weekend, designed to counter the idea that members of the community “refrain from orgasms” or “withhold the sperm for extended periods to the point of discomfort and discoloration of the scrotal sac.”

During this weekend, men are free to surround women in the community and masturbate furiously until each member of the “circle” deposits their sperm on the woman in the center of the circle.  The tradition, which has its origins in Japan, appears to have its roots in early Amish settlements in the area and was heavily practiced among the Pennsylvania Dutch in the late 1700s.

Historian Kevin Martin says “People don’t realize what kinky fucks the Amish actually are.  They think it is all barn raising and no electricity, but when you think about it, without all those distractions, what is left?  Basically weird sexual practices.”

Martin, author of Weird Sexual Practices of the Amish, has cataloged over 200 “sexual oddities” and “bizarre practices” of the Amish.  Today Martin says they appear very conservative, but in times past, the Amish were quite different.

Interestingly, the practice of withhold orgasms and sexual pleasure is also a Amish invention, though, as Martin says, one which is the product of 20th century thinking.

The festival opens this week and women in the local area are encouraged to dress appropriately, which basically means “heavy weather gear” and “lots of protection.”

Mick Strauss, one of the festival organizers, suggested that women dress for the event, but “leave their faces exposed” to help them “get in the spirit of the festival.”  Strauss also recommended men eat a lot of celery.

Photo credit: Lafayette College

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