Researchers Find Cure for Internet Addiction



Top researchers studying intenet addiction have come across a new and novel approach to curb excessive online use. Marjorie Schmitt, Professor of Neurobiology and Media Studies at Windsor University, came across the solution while studying one of her subjects. “The young lady I was studying was obsessed with bondage pornography and was watching videos and looking at images to an unhealthy degree. It hit me that if she was actually tied up like the women in the pictures, she wouldn’t be able to use the Internet.”

Sarah Hoffman, 19, was Schmitt’s first subject for a new clinical trial. “At first, I wasn’t sure,” she told The Daily Flogger, “but once the rope were on, it felt really good.”

Schmitt’s research project has had no trouble finding participants.  Since the project was announced, more than 300 women have volunteered.

“Unfortunately,” Dr. Schmitt says, “I have had to implement a rigorous screening program as many of the subjects don’t actually suffer from addiction, they just like being tied up.”

When we asked Heather Dwitt, one of Schmitt’s hopefuls, she admitted that the Internet wasn’t really a problem.  “I mean I guess I use Facebook a lot.  And Twitter sometimes.  Oh and Snapchat, I am on that a couple of time a day, but it doesn’t really interfere with my life.  But please, don’t tell Dr. Schmitt.  She’s hot and she ties really, really well.”

Requests have poured in from all over the globe, but Schmitt seems determined to test her treatment.  “Of course, we worry about replacing one addiction with another, but rope bondage is a lot of fun and keeps you out of trouble.”

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