Man Attempts Suicide After Failing To Invent New Fetish



Fred Pickler, a 45 year old Maine resident was hospitalized Sunday after attempting to take his own life. Pickler, a self described “uber Dom”, was apparently seeking a new fetish to list on his profile on the popular website,

A close female friend, who only gave the name Rainbowsparklesbunnikins, said that he tried for over a year to invent a new fetish for his profile. Said bunnikins: “He started with all the popular ones, and soon was consumed with inventing some new fetish. His failed attempts included Spoonbadgering (into), Chronic Victims Palsy (curious about), Flannel Abuse (everything to do with it), Non Consensual Umbrage (giving), and his last attempt, Ovarian Water Torture (watching others wear it). Once he saw that all of his fetishes were already taken, he spiraled into a real depression. I saw him last week, and I thought he was joking when he said that not creating a new fetish was the lowest point of his life. He really didn’t think he could face his kinky friends, all of whom have created at least one new fetish each.”

The Daily Flogger was unable to obtain an update on his mental health, with the local hospital invoking “patient privacy” as the reason.

Bunnikins added; “He’s really going to be pissed when he gets out. The day they took him in, his best friend added Failure to Create a Fetish as a fetish that wasn’t already taken. I don’t quite know how he’s going to take that.”

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